How many times have you picked up a book with the intention of devoting enough time in the day to truly dive in and embrace the characters?  Yet for some reason, halfway through you lose interest and now your focus has shifted once again.  Perhaps you finally make a list of the supplies you will need to start that DIY project you have been putting off for months, but you just never seem to find enough time in the day to get around to it.  Or just maybe you have no idea what you are about to get yourself into, how it will happen, or how it will all work out once the dust settles and the smoke finally clears.  You will likely never know all the answers, however, the secret to starting over is that it only has to make sense to you. 

New beginnings often represent a pivotal moment in our lives, a chance to redefine ourselves and our paths. They can arise from various circumstances, whether it's a new job, moving to a different place, ending a relationship, or even embarking on a personal project. Each of these transitions can feel daunting, yet they also hold immense potential for growth and transformation.

You have to know who is for you and who isn’t. Not every single person on the face of this planet has to catch your vibe. Guess what? That’s totally ok.

Not every single friend your good friends are friends with need to be your friend. When it’s not right you will know. Feel me?

There are some clingers hanging onto your life because they are nosey. Let them stay until their presence makes your eyeballs roll all the way to the back. They are unhappy and miserable because you continue to smile and shine at the same damn time. Plot twist; block them when it starts to get really good. They will totally hate that

Sometimes it involves walking away from situations and people that simple bring out the worst in you. If you don’t, the outlook is quite sad and the perception of you is left up to the interpretation of clowns.

Get it? Got it? Good!

~AJ

I knew before I got started that I was embarking upon a journey that would require all of my time, energy and emotions.  Yet like a moth to a flame I was drawn to the light.  As I watched the life before me I was taken back to my youth when I hoped on a wish and a prayer that my mom would say yes.  But she said no over and over again.  But why, I would ask?!  I felt as if it was a cruel punishment of sorts and would often cry my eyes out.

Now that I am a whole entire adult I make rash decisions on my own and then question my sanity and realize perhaps my mother was right all along.  Why did I get myself into this knowing I simply cannot stop.   It's formed as a question but covers as a rhetorical statement all day long.  There is also no reasonable answer, so I just go with it and keep this party bus moving right along.

The summer months offer a reprieve of sorts as the weather is mild and there is no threat of cold weather.  But fear not!  As the fall months approach I will setup the sleeping quarters which include a heated sleeping bed, heated water bowl and blocking the air from the end of my patio.  I do have an idea of closing the entire patio for the colder months, however, I am not sure if that is something I need to get myself into.  The wheels of this bus are definitely turning round and round.

My obsession with furry little meowing creatures started when I was a little girl. I absolutely love them and I still do.  I have a favorite and his or her name is Kitty.  I have been taking care of the constant visitor for over a year.  Like clockwork, I see that cute little face in the morning and afternoon.  Last week I got close enough to get a quick rub in.  The trust level is at an all time high.

I am a lot of things.  A daughter, a sister, an aunt, a best friend, a decorator and even a baker, but I am 1000% a certified cat lady.

~AJ 😽

It's a phenomenon that many people experience, this inexplicable emotional connection to inanimate objects. Some call it sentimental value, while others might label it as irrational attachment. Whichever way you perceive it, there is no denying the power these objects hold over our hearts and minds.

For me, it was always the clothes that held the strongest grip on my emotions. Each piece represented a chapter in my life, a memory I could touch and feel. The faded favorite slim blue jeans I wore every week, the tattered tank top that reminded me of a carefree summer, or the worn-out sweater that had seen better days. They were all threads in the tapestry of my life, intertwined with the fabric of my memories.

But as time passed and my closet grew more cluttered, I realized that holding onto every single item was becoming an overwhelming task. The symphony of chaos that played whenever I opened my closet doors had become a burden, a constant reminder of the emotional weight I carried.

As the clock struck midnight, I was leaving my wonder years behind and crossing over into what I call, the other side of 50.  It’s a milestone.  After all, I have been floating around this great universe for half a century, that surely has to count for something!  A celebration, a look back over the years full of changes, growth, and lessons learned with some being very hard and some showing me the reasons why.  Either way, I was looking forward to this next journey.  It goes without saying that even though I feel prepared for this next phase there are some questions about how I will handle what is to come.

Growing older is a gift that I cherish and never take lightly.  Part of growing older is wondering what life after 50 will be like. Will I still be able to enjoy life as much as before? Or will I have to slow down and take things easy? These questions can be daunting, but there is much to look forward to as any of us who are faced with these questions enter the second half of our lives.

Great change and opportunity don’t magically end because you have added that extra year to your life. While it may be tempting to slow down and take it easy, there are many reasons to embrace this new chapter of life. From pursuing new hobbies and interests to spending more time with loved ones.  It’s important to remember that everyone has a different story, but there is so much to enjoy and appreciate as you grow wiser and evolve into the best you.

As a writer, I often speak on what’s in my heart, what affects me and the things that matter.

On this latest episode of Being Black in America...

Recent gun violence has and continues to take its toll on so many lives. Losing a loved one at the hands of evil is the most unimaginable pain to have to face. After the shooting in Uvalde, Texas last year, my hope was shattered, it was devastating to know that so many bright young smiles were taken away.

​And here we are again. Another mass shooting in Nashville Tennessee that took the lives of three 9 year old students and three adults. When does it end and when will change happen?

Well… Rep. Gloria Johnson, Rep. Justin Jones & Rep. Justin Pearson staged a demonstration on the House floor calling for gun reform and leading chants with a bullhorn. In an effort to have their voices heard after their microphones were cut off whenever they raised the topic of discussion, they took matters into their own hands to get their points across by any means necessary.
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But no one ever likes to address the elephant in the room.  Imagine that

Two of the state representatives were expelled.  And what a shocker, they just happen to be black.  Rep. Gloria Johnson was not expelled although she participated in the same demonstration.
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The message is loud, but far from clear. Saying that Jones and Pearson had a “history” of being disruptive during proceedings is backed by nothing but fear of those who are outspoken and go against the grain. What that actually means, they should have known their place as two young, powerful and brave black men and only said what the others wanted them to hear.

I commend these young leaders for speaking up, for making steps towards a change even if those who don’t agree try to silence them.  The ignorance is amazingly scary… this has only wakened so many who will walk with them.

I stand in support of their message, their commitment, the bravery it took to be bold, to speak up and be looked at as strange and different and most of all I pray for this continued fight and their safety.
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#thetennesseethree #gunreform #protectkidsnotguns

​~AJ 🙏🏾

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​~AJ

I noticed on the day of Thanksgiving that my refrigerator was acting weird.  The things that were supposed to remain frozen were melting, and what was supposed to remain cool was now at a nice room temperature.  Of all days for this to happen!  I must admit I cooked absolutely nothing so there was no worry, however, I knew I needed to fix the problem before it escalated into an even larger mess!

As I began to empty my freezer of the frozen blueberries, perfectly pink raspberries and a grocery store supply worth of frozen veggies, I was thankful that my meat was still frozen.  To the chest freezer we go!  

I digress, per usual, because I am not here to talk about my silly appliance!  However, in hindsight, the broken appliance is the reason that brought me to the conclusion that I needed to write this post, so in short the non-working appliance is to thank for this enlightenment you are about to experience.  Don't mind this run on sentence, I tend to do that when I have had more than the suggested dose of caffeine for the day.

This past Sunday I awoke hungry.  It was early, around 7:30 a.m. and I decided I was going to take myself to breakfast.  There is a very nice and friendly breakfast/lunch cafe a short distance from my home, so I showered, got dressed and a bit reluctantly I might add, I walked in.  

Hostess:  How many?
Me:  One
Hostess:  Would you like to sit at the bar?
Me:  No.  In the back of my mind I am thinking 'do I look like I need a drink?  Or is this the place where all singles are seated for breakfast?!'
Hostess:  Follow me

As I am seated at a table that is clearly designed for four I smile and remember the times when this used to be my norm.  Venturing out and eating alone that is.  There is a certain peace that comes along with the delicious meal I was preparing to have.  I'm a people watcher, and I enjoyed every bit of it.  I enjoyed the noisy silence.  The conversations from the tables before and behind me which were somehow muted out to the point where it seemed as if I was in a world all by my lonesome.  

That's just it.  I was far from lonely.  The reluctance I initially felt when walking into the cafe was the thought that someone would wonder why it was a table for one.  Where were my friends or loved ones?  That feeling soon left as I cozied into my chair and enjoyed the creme brûlée latee that I knew I would have to exercise off later.  Not to mention the steak, potatoes, eggs and fluffy pancakes!  But hey, no one is counting calories here!  The food, the energy, the service, all amazing!  

Life doesn't always allow you the comfort of company or a companion, however, that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the simple things.  

This is by far my last solo adventure.  Stay tuned!  I'm kinda in the mood for something spicy and delicious!  

If you are in the area check out Toast and Jam Cafe!  I have always had a truly exceptional experience.

~AJ ☕️

​I like things.  In abundance, not too much, just enough to make my space feel like a nice warm hug.  

Not sure when the obsession started, that is, the need to have balance in the form of sculptures, pictures hung throughout the house in a museum-type vibe, and an endless amount of trinkets.  Treasured gifts from friends cause those creases in an upward motion on the side of my face.  Also known as a smile.  Sentimental items that I treasure and tuck away and pull out when I need to be reminded.  Mainly gifts that I have given myself.  

​Remember that balance I spoke of?  Well, there you have it.  If I waited for all the things I loved from others I might be waiting a while, and I am somewhat particular in my design approach.  I'm a fan of treating myself, so I do it from time to time.

As I walk through my home I am in awe at how much I have accumulated.  Never a need to ask why because I already know.  In as much of a visual sense, space has become a feeling for me.  I crave the energy of a room as much as I crave the sunlight.  It's a definite necessity at this point, so I ensure that I am never denied of that need.  I have accepted the fact that I am the collector of things.

My niece spent the weekend with me.  We laughed, a lot, ate very well, visited a couple of antique stores, and had so much fun.  If you like things as much as I do, you know what walking into an antique store feels like!  And here comes that balance again.  Amazing how that keeps inserting itself where needed.  

​It's early for some on this amazingly beautiful Sunday morning.  The sun is shining and there is a breeze that feels like it was meant for the weekend.  I stepped outside to pick fresh vegetables, chatted with a neighbor, and stepped back inside to sit for a moment.  My mind is in full observation mode.  What can I add to this space here or remove, I wonder?  Never clutter, always purposely positioned so I have no worries there.  For now, I will just enjoy it.  Not some of it, not a portion to be saved for later, but all of it.  

I should mention that at any given moment an urge will hit and off to a store I go, to gather nails for hanging a new picture, or a plant to go in that space that feels somewhat empty.  Hey, the universe didn't create all of these great things if they weren't meant to be enjoyed.

~AJ

Uvalde Texas, a small town with a population of a little over 15,000 and predominantly Hispanic is located in the South Texas region approximately 50 miles east of the United States-Mexico border and sits at the crossroads of the nation's two longest highways, U.S. 83 and U.S. 90.  These highways go from Canada to Mexico and Florida to California.  Honey from Uvalde hives was well known across the country and Uvalde was named the honey capital.  A small town of citizens who dream big and take pride in their community. [1]

For most, routines are part of the norm.  Hit the snooze on the alarm just enough times so you aren't late starting the chores of the morning.  Crawl out of bed, wake the kids, make breakfast, get them off to school and start your day to accomplish all the things you need to before it's time to pick up the kids from school or meet them at the bus stop.  Hearing their voices, feeling the warmth of their hugs and the coolness of their wet kisses on your cheek is at times the only things you need to make everything right in the world.  

How does one go about preparing themselves to pick up the pieces after such a horrible tragedy?  Why does the same nightmare keep happening all over again and how do we begin to fix this problem?  ​