There is nothing more peaceful than an early morning grocery store run.  It's quiet, the store is pretty empty, perhaps a little too empty but that's my mind working overtime and thinking about this horror movie I saw once.  Y'all know I digress...

Needed a few essentials before my work day started so I got up early, which is part of my daily routine and headed off to the store.  

The fresh flowers are all too beautiful giving me a glimpse of what is to come for Spring.  My favorite season by the way.  Colors so bright you would swear they are fake, but they are all part of God's beautiful gifts.

Quiet moments like this allow much needed time to clear my mind before the madness of the day starts.  I saw a familiar face, a lady who works at the store who is always so friendly, we chatted for a few minutes about perfume, which I can talk about all day.  This brief, yet meaningful conversation added to my very pleasant shopping experience and I just love that.

I went back and forth in my mind for approximately 23 seconds trying to justify the donut that was staring me in the face as I slowly walked past the bakery.  I knew the immediate and gratifying need for the sugar rush I was going to indulge in would be well worth the glycemic increase.  To buy the donut or to not buy the donut, how do I justify thee.

​Then I remembered what someone said recently, you have to live, now!  And so it is... 

​~AJ 🍩

Imagine going non-stop down a busy road with no end in sight.  This is how my mind works.  It never stops thinking, wondering, imagining, hoping, longing, wishing and praying.  

I appreciate the gift of thought, however, at times it can prove to be a bit overwhelming, so I have to literally force myself to stop and just be.  Being one within myself is calming to my spirit, it allows me to relax and turn off my brain which as a writer I am learning to do with great ease without feeling as if I have failed.

With that being said... I've been twirling lots of thoughts in my head.  Ideas for my first book, which started quite a few years prior.  I am my own timeline, there is no rush or need to prove myself to anyone, but me.  Projects that I want to jump into inside my home, which, by the way are also never ending.  It creates a sense of happiness only a DIYer' would understand.  The changes I will make in my garden this year knowing the more flower beds I add the more maintenance I will have to deal with.  Hobbies are work but when you truly love it, the work turns into passion.

As I continue to pull inspiration from others and continue on my daily walk through life I realize how much of a true blessing it is to feel anything really.  To have thoughts that consume me, ideas that change like the wind and thoughts that take over as if I have to get it all done immediately.  Some of those 'have to get it done right now ideas' have turned into pretty amazing projects might I add.

Although my thoughts are quite loud I have a level of peace that is unfazed by the noise.  

​~AJ 💡

Happy Sunday!

I hope your weekend was and still is amazing.

I have been bee-bopping around the house since yesterday. Tending to my plants. Vacuuming, sweeping, dusting and mopping. Moving things to change the look. Moving them back because it looked stupid. Lol. Changed my office around. Hung a couple of things in my very busy hallway of sentiments and good feels. Eventually I will have every free space I can find covered with all things that make me happy. Cleaned out the fridge. Changed my filters. Took out the trash.
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These are all simple yet peaceful activities that make me happy.  It is necessary for me to unwind in ways that allow me to feel restored and relaxed.

This is not a new year thing. This is a 'me' thing. My girls, and they know who they are, know I can’t sit still for very long.  Always doing the most.

And that’s ok...

​~AJ 😏

Here we are at the beginning of a brand new year.  The significance and excitement is like finding a brand new shiny penny.  You pick it up, put it in your pocket and then forget all about it.  That is, until it happens again, then for a moment you are reminded just how amazing it makes you feel.  

In years past I would have felt an urgent need to be out and about with the masses, celebrating, dancing, and mingling with strangers along with the annoying yet satisfying clink of the champagne glasses.  Having a little too much to drink, promising myself that as soon as the clock strikes midnight I will suddenly become a different person.  You know, change up those things I didn't much care for in the previous year.  
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I absolutely love everything about a resolution.  There is something about doing whatever the hell you want that just tickles my fancy.  I've been away from writing for a while.  I needed to do whatever it was that I was doing when I wasn't writing.  Sounds like a good enough reason for me.  I felt no pressure to create, no need to prove anything to anyone but myself.  When it's a gift, it never leaves you.  I have learned the more things change, the more things remain the same.  

The past year was really good to me and I have a lot to talk about, so here I am.  A new year is a milestone worthy of a grand celebration.   I approach this year with my mind open to a few new things.  I haven't quite put my finger on what exactly that will be, but just know, I am happy to be here, in the now and in my thoughts, which is a great place to be.

Happy New Year!  

~AJ ☺️

As a member of the aging adult club I can officially say that I have entered the second half of my life.  This next phase of adulthood presents a much different view than my quote on quote, younger years.  Also known as the first half.  It might sound like a bit of doom and gloom, but make no mistake about it, I feel the best I have ever felt.  I have this sense of youth coupled with many grueling self-inflicted activities that keep me young in a physical sense and often times young at heart.

There has always been this relentless need to belong.  To be a part of the cool clique.  For that select chosen few to ‘get it’ and more importantly, get you.  Where does this need actually come from and who says that any one single person on the face of this planet has to accept you and deem you their person?  If I had the answer to that rhetorical statement, yet phrased as a semi question this would perhaps be a different topic of my thoughts.

It is certainly a gift to vividly remember my younger years.  If you follow stage plays or film, you are familiar with what’s called the three-act structure.  The first act, also known as the setup, introduces the protagonist, their world, and what truly lays the foundation for the rest of the film.  The second act brings about challenges and obstacles to overcome, also known as the meat of the story, when all the juicy bits happen.  The third act introduces resolution of conflicts.  As it plays out in a film, the story can go in many different directions, and is widely left open for the interpretation of the viewer. 

During our younger years we typically have little to no worries.  Seeming to float through life filled with giggles, a few bad choices, and hitting repeat until we get it as close to right as possible.  I have harmoniously landed somewhere between acts 2 & 3.  A few obstacles to tackle, met with challenges that have often left me scratching my head.  Yet, here I remain. Forever thankful for the outlet of creation.  A place where I am free to be completely me without judgment or need for the approval I mentioned earlier.
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As I prepare the stage for my next act, I am rehearsing my lines and taking notes, after all, I am the leading character in this story, my story, and it's a beautiful thing.

~AJ

How many times have you picked up a book with the intention of devoting enough time in the day to truly dive in and embrace the characters?  Yet for some reason, halfway through you lose interest and now your focus has shifted once again.  Perhaps you finally make a list of the supplies you will need to start that DIY project you have been putting off for months, but you just never seem to find enough time in the day to get around to it.  Or just maybe you have no idea what you are about to get yourself into, how it will happen, or how it will all work out once the dust settles and the smoke finally clears.  You will likely never know all the answers, however, the secret to starting over is that it only has to make sense to you. 

New beginnings often represent a pivotal moment in our lives, a chance to redefine ourselves and our paths. They can arise from various circumstances, whether it's a new job, moving to a different place, ending a relationship, or even embarking on a personal project. Each of these transitions can feel daunting, yet they also hold immense potential for growth and transformation.

You have to know who is for you and who isn’t. Not every single person on the face of this planet has to catch your vibe. Guess what? That’s totally ok.

Not every single friend your good friends are friends with need to be your friend. When it’s not right you will know. Feel me?

There are some clingers hanging onto your life because they are nosey. Let them stay until their presence makes your eyeballs roll all the way to the back. They are unhappy and miserable because you continue to smile and shine at the same damn time. Plot twist; block them when it starts to get really good. They will totally hate that

Sometimes it involves walking away from situations and people that simple bring out the worst in you. If you don’t, the outlook is quite sad and the perception of you is left up to the interpretation of clowns.

Get it? Got it? Good!

~AJ

I knew before I got started that I was embarking upon a journey that would require all of my time, energy and emotions.  Yet like a moth to a flame I was drawn to the light.  As I watched the life before me I was taken back to my youth when I hoped on a wish and a prayer that my mom would say yes.  But she said no over and over again.  But why, I would ask?!  I felt as if it was a cruel punishment of sorts and would often cry my eyes out.

Now that I am a whole entire adult I make rash decisions on my own and then question my sanity and realize perhaps my mother was right all along.  Why did I get myself into this knowing I simply cannot stop.   It's formed as a question but covers as a rhetorical statement all day long.  There is also no reasonable answer, so I just go with it and keep this party bus moving right along.

The summer months offer a reprieve of sorts as the weather is mild and there is no threat of cold weather.  But fear not!  As the fall months approach I will setup the sleeping quarters which include a heated sleeping bed, heated water bowl and blocking the air from the end of my patio.  I do have an idea of closing the entire patio for the colder months, however, I am not sure if that is something I need to get myself into.  The wheels of this bus are definitely turning round and round.

My obsession with furry little meowing creatures started when I was a little girl. I absolutely love them and I still do.  I have a favorite and his or her name is Kitty.  I have been taking care of the constant visitor for over a year.  Like clockwork, I see that cute little face in the morning and afternoon.  Last week I got close enough to get a quick rub in.  The trust level is at an all time high.

I am a lot of things.  A daughter, a sister, an aunt, a best friend, a decorator and even a baker, but I am 1000% a certified cat lady.

~AJ 😽

It's a phenomenon that many people experience, this inexplicable emotional connection to inanimate objects. Some call it sentimental value, while others might label it as irrational attachment. Whichever way you perceive it, there is no denying the power these objects hold over our hearts and minds.

For me, it was always the clothes that held the strongest grip on my emotions. Each piece represented a chapter in my life, a memory I could touch and feel. The faded favorite slim blue jeans I wore every week, the tattered tank top that reminded me of a carefree summer, or the worn-out sweater that had seen better days. They were all threads in the tapestry of my life, intertwined with the fabric of my memories.

But as time passed and my closet grew more cluttered, I realized that holding onto every single item was becoming an overwhelming task. The symphony of chaos that played whenever I opened my closet doors had become a burden, a constant reminder of the emotional weight I carried.

As the clock struck midnight, I was leaving my wonder years behind and crossing over into what I call, the other side of 50.  It’s a milestone.  After all, I have been floating around this great universe for half a century, that surely has to count for something!  A celebration, a look back over the years full of changes, growth, and lessons learned with some being very hard and some showing me the reasons why.  Either way, I was looking forward to this next journey.  It goes without saying that even though I feel prepared for this next phase there are some questions about how I will handle what is to come.

Growing older is a gift that I cherish and never take lightly.  Part of growing older is wondering what life after 50 will be like. Will I still be able to enjoy life as much as before? Or will I have to slow down and take things easy? These questions can be daunting, but there is much to look forward to as any of us who are faced with these questions enter the second half of our lives.

Great change and opportunity don’t magically end because you have added that extra year to your life. While it may be tempting to slow down and take it easy, there are many reasons to embrace this new chapter of life. From pursuing new hobbies and interests to spending more time with loved ones.  It’s important to remember that everyone has a different story, but there is so much to enjoy and appreciate as you grow wiser and evolve into the best you.