As I take the time to sit here and write this post, it all feels different. I can't recall the moment it changed, but it did and I'm beyond thankful for that turning moment in my life.
I've been running on fumes all week. Early mornings and late nights. Busy with my 9-5 and busy with challenging and pushing myself to dig deep and really get into my favorite past-time. It's not that I have been slacking, it's quite the opposite. I make it a point to create something every month, without the pressure of feeling as if I need to beat someone else to the finish line. It's a personal and attainable goal that makes me happy as a writer and creator. At the end of the day that is what truly matters.
With a mind busier than the strongest working bee, I have been hitting the keyboard as if it was going to turn into a sea of mud at the stroke of midnight and my words would be forever lost. I love the late-night thoughts, the hustle, and the feeling of clicking publish on yet another story, another tale, another FYI on gardening to-do's and not's, and giving another accolade to someone who has inspired me or maybe even the world.
They said I changed a lot, I said a lot changed me ~Fuckology
When I made my mind up that I was going to do what felt good, I created my website. It was hard work, but it was simple, a tad generic, and all mine! I spent quite a bit of time researching apps and fonts and making it feel like a breath of fresh air. I know I have accomplished that, with a few minor tweaks here and there. I also put a huge chunk of time into asking others for support. A text here or there saying hey read my work. Or perhaps in the midst of a conversation throwing in a subtle or not so subtle reminder that I have a website, and I, and it are amazing.
As I said in my very first sentence, I can't recall the moment, but the purpose changed. I am no longer consumed with those texts, or conversations asking for a comment here and there. I am not embarrassed to allow my thoughts to flow freely, nor am I asking for permission to go for all that I know I deserve. Don't misunderstand, I will always share my work where it's appreciated and without a doubt I want my work to be adored. I have high hopes as I should. I know there are times when I have made someone's morning a little brighter or offered midday inspiration and perhaps a thoughtful gesture because of something I have written.
Evolving is a process that develops gradually and I thank God and this oh so amazing universe for walking with me along the way.
"This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." -Neil Gaiman