This Feels Different
The saga is never-ending. Just when I thought there would be nothing left to amaze me, I am amazed all over again. Homeownership has taken me through a few things. Some were self-inflicted and some were necessary to remain enclosed in four walls. A tad bit exaggerated but please allow me to be extra when telling the events of my real-life true story!
Visions of perfection, the right shade of pink, or the muted and sexy shade of blue are the images I had in my mind when I walked into my home for the very first time. If I'm being honest the vision I truly had was running in the opposite direction. But, I digress, so what was saying again? Oh yeah... Instead, I was slapped in the face with a dusty matte grey. I hated it! Well, fear not, my trusted followers, because my home is nothing like it used to be, except for a few rooms that I have yet to convert to a box of Crayola crayons. I just close my eyes and take a pick and hope for the best color to excite me. It's the most fun I have had with decorating and trust me I have done this quite a few times.
The more I allowed myself to become one with my home, the more it spoke to me. If you stop long enough you will hear what's needed and the rest will flow quite seamlessly. Determined and on a mission with a few stumbling block-sized mountains to climb along the way I was ready for whatever. Fear not, I was fitted out with the proper attire for this rather daunting mission. Boots ✅ work gloves ✅ band-aids ✅ music ✅ and a fully stocked bar ✅.
Once progress was made inside, I ventured into my outdoor space. I was almost at a point of giving up and hiring someone to do the grueling work. With the help of my family, I pushed through and thanked myself when it was all said and done. That's important, thanking yourself that is. I feel people don't practice that enough. Self-appreciation is not being arrogant, it's knowing you are able, worthy, and proud of the accomplishments you have made.
Back to this outdoor space. I hate weeds, that I do know. At the rate of sounding very OCD, I decided to pull each one of them. I was annoyed at the growth rate and damned my neighbors for spreading the hideous lawn monsters. It was far from anyone else's fault, but it was now my problem to deal with. I researched fairies who come at night and do the work for you, but shipping was too expensive so I resorted to a broadcast spreader and a hope and a wish!
Ah, the broadcast spreader. There is a story to tell here. So I find that some things are priced ridiculously high and the spreader was one of them. Not willing to pay an arm, a leg, and a few fingers and toes, I took a peek into Facebook marketplace. And to my surprise on a chilly and rainy evening, I found exactly what I was looking for at half the price. Now, if you know anything about me you know I love a good 20/20 binge-watching night, which also leads to a bit of paranoia. I reviewed the listing as well as the seller's page and figured it was pretty safe to go and pick up a spreader from a stranger at close to night fall in the rain by myself in a neighborhood I knew nothing about all because he looked like a super nice man. One call to my brother and a shared location later I was on my way to get this 14-karat gold-plated spreader. Ok, it is not covered in gold but you would think it was based on my urgency to purchase this magical weed-killing fertilizing machine. I arrive at the address and there is a for sale sign in the yard. The house is dark and I was 5 1/2 seconds from driving off. Out comes an older man, he loads the spreader in my car and off I go. I thought for a moment I may have run over his foot but he was nearly inside his house before I pulled off. Vowing to never purchase anything that way again, I was happy with my successful and safe transaction.
And again, back to this lovely outdoor space of mine. Insert sarcasm whenever you like because it is definitely there! I needed to add curb appeal. I also needed pretty blooming flowers to add to my landscape, otherwise, I would be close to putting the house on the market and searching for my next place of residence. I find that boredom comes often and when there is nothing left to do or nothing beautiful to see I want to move on. However, this feels different.
As I removed the brush of old tree limbs and weeds from the backyard last year, I found a toy car, I scoffed and said what is this doing here?! Well, it's apparent the previous owners had children of some sort so there is that. I hung on to it as a reminder that there was life here before me and likely after me. I would hope that the impressions I leave will cause someone to smile and wonder what I was like during my time here. The more I continued to explore the Midwest soil and truly get into my planting I found the little guy with amazing hair and dirt-covered goggles and gave him a seat. I smiled and thought to myself the gifts just keep on giving. Will I get something every year? I am now wondering what else there is to find. For now, my yard overseer is propped up to monitor the outdoor activity and provide a bit of company when I am tending to my garden and thinking of something new to add to my growing flower bed. I haven't named him yet, but I am open to suggestions... So let me know!
Today marks a year since I packed up my life in Georgia and relocated to be closer to my family. I have not one regret. I appreciate the bumps, the bruises, the conversations, the laughter, the hugs, and most importantly the love and support. Without it, I am only half of who God has intended me to be.
It's Monday, my fingers are twitching to get into some type of project. What, I have no idea. Sitting down and sitting still is not in my DNA. I have ants in my pants. Not literally, but it's something my grandmother used to say because I apparently couldn't sit still when I was younger either. Although the thought of having actual ants in my pants is quite terrifying and I'm not sure there would be enough champagne to rid that thought from my mental space. She digresses and she knows it...
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AJ is a creative writer and storyteller writing from her home in Indiana.
"This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." -Neil Gaiman