The saga is never-ending. Just when I thought there would be nothing left to amaze me, I am amazed all over again. Homeownership has taken me through a few things. Some were self-inflicted and some were necessary to remain enclosed in four walls. A tad bit exaggerated but please allow me to be extra when telling the events of my real-life true story!
Visions of perfection, the right shade of pink, or the muted and sexy shade of blue are the images I had in my mind when I walked into my home for the very first time. If I'm being honest the vision I truly had was running in the opposite direction. But, I digress, so what was saying again? Oh yeah... Instead, I was slapped in the face with a dusty matte grey. I hated it! Well, fear not, my trusted followers, because my home is nothing like it used to be, except for a few rooms that I have yet to convert to a box of Crayola crayons. I just close my eyes and take a pick and hope for the best color to excite me. It's the most fun I have had with decorating and trust me I have done this quite a few times.
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I've heard people say you shouldn't live for the weekend, well I certainly do! I enjoy my weekdays, however, there is nothing like the weekend when I can truly let my hair down and exhale. With only two days to absorb any and everything that is not of work-related jargon, I take in projects here and there. Sitting down has never been my forte, which is probably the reason my grandmother would make the statement that I must have ants in my pants. As confused as a child could be, hearing that statement, I kinda knew it meant I needed to sit down somewhere. The problem was, I didn't know where that was, so I've been moving ever since. My eyes target various weird things to get into. Noticed a slight smudge on the entry door into my laundry room, which creates a scrubbing frenzy to remove any signs of stress and dirt. Or perhaps, the baseboards that require close attention. If you get too close to anything an imperfection or two is bound to pop out and make instant eye contact. I'll just start at the basement level on my hands and knees cursing myself out along the way. After relocating, my body went through a few changes. I'm not the same 24-year old so the recovery time was quite extensive. I listened to this body of mine on most days, and when I didn't it caused a visit to the doctor who advised I had a herniated disc in my back and would need to take it easy. As the doctor continued to speak a foreign language that I surely did not understand, I said no problem doc! Ok, you might be wondering what the hell I was doing to get to this point, but I don't even know. I mean I might have an idea or two, but who needs to talk about the past! Back to the story... The move put me into a state of pause. I felt as if certain things I loved to do had lost their flair and excitement. I was no longer the busiest bee in the hive and that was alarming. Cooking, decorating, and flowing into my own space. I was in an adjustment period and needed time to unpack in a mental and physical sense. Now that I feel rejuvenated, I find enjoyment in small, medium, and sometimes large-sized projects that I throw myself into. Getting back into cooking meant I was finally in my happy zone. So, it's the second day of the workweek. I vowed after my last project that I would sit down and do absolutely nothing. But, that would be telling a lie and that just isn't my thing. I found the cutest little paintbrushes for a tiny-sized project. The grout in my guest bath is not of a color that makes me smile, so I bought grout paint. Simple and exciting right?! After this project, I have a few more but this is so easy I'll have it done in a flash. It's the story I always tell myself. Whether it's true or not will determine what new ideas I come up with. Therapy comes in ways you least expected. I often speak of joy and finding peace as it is the backdrop of your life. It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted. -Mary Flannery O'ConnorBees are known to be very active. When summer greets us with the never-ending sunshine and beautiful weather you constantly see bees buzzing around and doing their thing. I asked google, why are bees so active, and here is what I found. 'This behavior is normal, and means they are settling into their new home.' I rest my case. 🐝 ~AJ
I remember the series of events I am about to share with you as if it were yesterday. I moved to Atlanta in the Fall of 1996 after spending the summer with my boyfriend's family at the Summer Olympics. I had fallen head over heels in love with everything Georgia had to offer. The weather, the people, and the smells were all infectious. I was 23 and felt as if I could rule the world, yet I knew nothing about the world at that time and what would happen next. The choice had already been made in my mind. We were moving. Our parents asked what we were doing, and we looked bewildered. What do you mean? We are moving and we are in love. Aren't we??? But we had no idea about the meaning of true love and all that it meant.
As we settled into our first apartment in Georgia it was something brand new and such an adventure. If you asked me at the time how I felt I would without hesitation say it was the best time of my life. It was different, it was exciting and I felt a new level of freedom I had never felt before. Time continued to move forward as it always does. The excitement fades, bills are due and life happens. I started working and met new people that led the way to interesting conversations and new ideas. Suddenly I felt a sense of empowerment that I couldn't wait to share with my boyfriend. I love myself! Prior to the beginning of the new year, I can't say with any true certainty that I vowed to see my resolutions come true. The reason being, I hadn't made any. Duh! As a planner and a bit of a perfectionist along with acknowledging my OCD about everything from the crookedness of the kitchen rug to the slant of the window curtain, I have accepted that things just are as they are meant to be and I am perfectly fine with those minor imperfections and this run-on sentence.
Aside from being totally against resolutions this year, I planned to dive into my writing, get lost into the creativity of my keyboard. The sounds under my fingertips that mean I am working, the clickety-clack of my nails that would annoy some sounds like a perfectly tuned melody to me. I am thinking, creating, and sharing my thoughts with the world and that allows me to dive headfirst into my happy space. Life is forever unexpected in the series of events that are waiting for you around the corner. You simply never know what to expect. Those events will sometimes cause a necessary pause, allowing time to completely heal and get back to who you are. The beginning of my year has been a challenge, but I'm here, still standing and stronger than ever. Mental health is real and necessary to acknowledge. I have a goal to create a few new posts per month, however, as a creator, I have learned that pushing myself is not the proper way in order to create authentic work, which is what my brand is all about. When the spirit moves me I will write and when the universe grabs hold of me and tells me to woosah for just a bit I shall listen. I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. Restoring AJ was a promise I made to myself. Told myself it was ok and perfectly normal to take that much-needed break. The gift of writing doesn't fade when it's genuine. Feels good to be back doing what I love. As mental health awareness is heightened please take the time to ensure you are ok. Talk to those who will listen and find things you can submerge yourself into without overwhelming yourself all over again. Or just do absolutely nothing, sometimes that serves as the medicine your body truly needs. One of my favorite quotes is, "It's not rocket science so it's not that hard unless you are a rocket scientist and think it's super easy". Yes, I made that up, but it makes sense! With all the love and positive vibes I can muster, I wish you all the best that life has in store for you. ~AJ 💫 With a stretch and yawn as if I had just completed an Olympic-themed hibernation event I woke to a new day and a brand spanking new year! I don't feel any different. I'm not magically better at any one thing than I was on yesterday. I slept for most of the New Year's Eve festivities and it truly felt perfectly normal for a change. There is a small bit of jealously watching those who had a blowout party and danced the night away. Then I am reminded of the times when I woke on the 1st day of the new year with a rocking hangover so that less than 1 percent of jealousy I mentioned earlier has quickly diminished into nothingness. Besides, I am 49 and have no time for regrets and sideways ginger ale sips from the sofa all day.
I love new beginnings. I always have. The start of a new movie, a fresh new pair of boots, a crisp bag of chips just opened to a perfect level of freshness, and of course seeing the Amazon delivery truck outside my house, yet again. If 50 First Dates was a person waiting for that blue truck to hang a right at the corner and stop in front of my house, it'd most certainly be me. It's all in what moves you. I'm pretty simple on most days. I require normal things and try to give as much as I receive. As a writer whose mind is wildly teetering between sanity vs insanity, I believe I have finally found my balance. Writing gives me the freedom to escape from the reality of life when I choose and for that gift, I am forever thankful. Reading through Happy New Year texts and social media posts this morning with one eye open while searching for my reading glasses makes my heart feel happy. After the past couple of years, it's no surprise that we all want what feels like normal. What tastes like fantasy and what makes you dream like you did when you allowed your thoughts to run completely free. So how do we get back to all of that? It's simple, you gotta allow yourself to. Let go of what you feel you shouldn't be doing just because someone told you it was silly or because you are afraid of all of the great things that might happen. One foot in front of the other is how I plan to step through life. It isn't always rose petals perfectly laid, one because my cats would never allow me to be that great, but it is Chapter One and you can write it, however, your heart desires. Go on an adventure and amaze yourself with what is waiting for you. The deeper question here is, how much longer do I have to wish everyone I encounter a Happy New Year?! My cutoff is somewhere between the end of today or February 1st. Hey, what can I say I'm a sucker for giving well wishes. With love, light, and an overflow of blessings, I am wishing you the best that 2022 has to offer. Sending you positive vibes and teleporting catchy beats you won't be able to erase from your memory no matter how many tequila shots you have. ~AJ 🎊 I live for the weekends and everything that comes along with it. Mainly the joy that I get to say bye to work for a couple of days is enough to get me going. It's more than that, the feeling of my warm bed that begs me to lay in for just a bit and the sound of nothingness if just for a little while. The perfect opportunity for me to clear my head and plan my day. What might start as a lazy day in my dreams never ends up that way. I'm a busy body by nature and there is nothing I can do to change that. I'm either cleaning as if my life depended on it or taping off yet another wall to start painting. Well, I didn't get around to painting just yet but I did do a pretty awesome job of cleaning if I say so myself. Just to give you an idea, here is a mini breakdown of why my weekend was probably better than yours.
It's a brand new month, so what are you going to do with it? There is something about a new month that feels wonderful. The previous month is a thing of the past, so out with the old and in with the new. With an air of excitability, sprinkled with a dash of unknown happenings, it's like watching a really good movie unfold. You have no idea what is going to happen next but you are in for the long haul and patiently wait to see how it all plays out. It's not just any month either, it's the last month of the year to be exact. No pressure to finally finish all of those resolutions you planned 11 months ago while downing your 4th or 5th glass of bubbly. But I'm not counting, so by all means, do you! Chances are you don't even remember what you said. If the pressure of living up to your resolution promise is too much to bare you can always chuck those promises right out the window and simply say fuck it. Just for the record I typically do not use profanity on my website, but then I realized one thing. Keyword being 'my', so... I'm into lots of things. Shopping, decorating, opening a nice bottle of champagne, playing in the dirt to give my green thumb a bit of exercise, and of course one of my favorites of all time, writing. A new diet, a revised business plan, or maybe even saving money to take that amazing vacation you have been dreaming of are all things worth being excited about. Giving yourself a much-needed reset is important so don't be afraid to jump in and give it all you got! Of course, this month comes along with holiday celebrations, fun times with family, friends or that special someone. A little perfectly placed mistletoe ain't never hurt nobody, so dust off those plans and make some magic happen!
With as many feel-good vibes as the soul can take, a friendly reminder is to simply enjoy it all no matter what day it is. Plan ahead and set yourself up for ways to enjoy this month instead of working yourself into a frenzy. Time is just as important as anything else, plan accordingly, and thank me later. In closing... Hello December, I've been waiting for you. ~AJ 🍾 It wasn't love at first sight. More reminiscent of feelings like regret, disappointment, and betrayal. You know, similar to finding out you have just been catfished by the person you thought was your dream come true, only to find that it's a Nightmare on Elm Street. Hi ma'am, what is your reason for returning this item? Please check all boxes that apply. Is there a box that says, because I just don't want it and I would like a do-over?! Ughhh, didn't think so... How could I get myself into this type of quandary and how in the world do I get out of it? If I could I would escape into a black hole back to the real world, because clearly, this is straight out of the Matrix.
The deed was done, the documents signed, the handshakes shaken and it was officially the season of no turning back. 'Ok, deal with it,' I told myself, and get into this vibe cause baby it's full steam ahead now. As I woke this morning I knew what my day would consist of. An early morning workout, using this amazing facial cleanser I bought, and a nice sensible breakfast. At some point, I know that I will need to do a bit of yard work and I'm perfectly fine with that as long as my music accompanies me during the grueling task of raking leaves. Oh, and I have to work today, but that's not as exciting as anything else I described so let me continue. I quite like the beginning of a new week. It gives me a sense of discipline that I may have lost mid-week or perhaps during the weekend. Re-focusing my energy on anything positive and uplifting, as always. Things like planning my workout regimen, ensuring I follow a healthy diet, or refraining from shopping, at least for a few days. Or not! I believe in balance. If I want it you can guarantee I'm going to have it and the rules I have preset for myself are suddenly floating out the window. The art of deprivation only applies when I'm getting close to vacation time and my two-piece bikini is saying, 'girl put down that 6th slice of pizza!' Motivation comes in many forms. A friend who is uplifting, a book that redefines the art of strength, perseverance, and resilience, or perhaps a movie about getting knocked down over and over again, yet learning to stand strong and tall ten times over. I accept it and receive it all. "O, Sunshine! The most precious gold to be found on earth." -ROMAN PAYNEI saw the sunshine through the blinds this morning and a smile grew across my face. The light that gives me so much life and makes me feel like anything is possible. Watching the squirrels chase each other in the yard as if they have not a care in the world. Or maybe they are in a rush to gather all the necessities for hibernation in preparation for the coming winter months. With so much going on around me, I'm alert and aware of how it all makes me feel. The more I give in to the vibe of creativity and all that inspires me the more I find the joy of simplicity. The beauty in peace, and the art of continuing to find my own kind of balance. Be inspired... ~AJ 🌞 So, I have these notions to jump into projects around the house. It's in my nature and I cannot stop the thoughts once they enter any portion of my brain. On Friday, I decided it was time to get into the backyard and spruce it up a bit. What started as a small project in my mind turned into a full-on outdoor fresh event. If you have ever done any form of yard work then you realize outdoor fresh is nothing nice. 😷 Day 1: Pulled weeds. Cleared my area and started putting down my border. My sister cut down weeds growing through my fence while my brother cleaned my gutters. A true family affair. As the sun continued to blaze down on me I felt even more determined to get it done. My progress seemed to be light considering I had been outside for 8 hours straight. At the end of day 1, I counted no less than 15 mosquito bites. Oh, this is going to be so much fun said no one ever! Day 2: The weed pulling frenzy continues and my vision is crystal clear. I know exactly what I want to do and just how I want it to look. The only problem, I need to return to Home Depot and Lowes for more stuff. As if digging in the dirt was not enough I'll just grill as well because who doesn't like to feel completely exhausted by the end of the day. 🙄 Determined to tackle the glorious pile of sticks the previous owners left for me I had choice words for them that I am sure are illegal somewhere. Mom says it must have been a fire pit. In the pile, I found a single sock, a hot wheels car, and an old screen. My idea of a beautiful and serene fire pit is a bit different, so please stay tuned. The more I pulled and cleared, the better it started to look. And then Sammie the Snake appears. I run and scream for my whole entire life and retreat to the safety of my deck. My blood-curdling scream should have cleared any rodent, critter, or insect within a 20-mile radius, so I returned to finish what I started. While my family thought I was certifiably insane for wearing boots in close to 90-degree weather, my handy dandy outdoor, weed pulling, yard boots were right on time. Not letting a silly slinky snake stop my flow so back to it I go. About 5 1/2 hours later. Many breaks and stops in between I finished one side of my project, which by the way I absolutely love. While there are mosquito bites covering most of my body, I can stand outside and admire my work while scratching the skin off of my limbs, but hey, it was all worth it.
The best thing I found of the previous owners was a small piece of white chalk. I wasn't quite sure if that's what it was at first. Quick sniff test and it was confirmed. Hey, don't judge me. I already had it in my hand so the damage was potentially done. It made me smile and brought back the kid in me. Proof of that is in the first pic above. Nothing but love and blessings as I enter into home ownership chronicles...day 71. 🏡 ~AJ |
AuthorAJ is a creative writer and storyteller writing from her home in Indiana. Archives
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"This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." -Neil Gaiman
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