Who Drank All The Milk?

It’s been a bitch of a day, work was insanely busy, traffic a whole entire nightmare and you just want to get home to that hunk of dark chocolate, moist and delicious, melt in your mouth cake you brought home from dinner last night.  It is single-handedly the one thing that will put a smile on your face.  Along with a tall glass of milk to wash it all down.  Perfection has never been as flawless as this vision of loveliness you have just painted in your mind.  The diet will start tomorrow, but today, there is cake and that’s all that matters!

Your husband is picking up the kids so there is a small window of opportunity to simply do you for a change.  The first order of business, kick off the work shoes, pin the hair back and change into something comfortable because it’s about to go down in approximately 6 1/2 minutes.  For just a second it crosses your mind that maybe you should check to make sure no one has touched your cake, but they would dare not cross enemy lines and start that type of war. Besides, they remember how painful it was to eat dads cooking for a week after your skinny pop mysteriously went missing.
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As you open the refrigerator a moment of sheer panic enters your soul because you do not see your prized possession. Whispering under your breath through gritted teeth, “If someone ate my cake there is going to be, oh there it is, behind the asparagus.”  Crisis diverted, temper returning to normal and heartbeat has regulated.  Everything is working in your favor.  The latest episode of your favorite show is queued up and the time is now to twiddle those toes while deeply immersed in chocolate heaven.  The only thing left to do is pour yourself a tall glass of milk.  One problem, where the hell is it?  Earlier that morning there was nearly a full gallon, so who drank all the milk because this surely can’t be happening.  Clearly, this setback is not as detrimental as the thought of someone eating your cake however it just won’t be the same with a glass of water.  That’s almost like having your mouth ready for a stack of pancakes with perfectly crispy bacon and no syrup.  It’s not gonna be the same.

No empty carton of milk in the trash and it's clearly not in the fridge because you looked.  Should you call your husband and ask him if he took the milk with him in case of extreme thirst while on the way to pick up the kids?  Yeah, because that makes sense.  Sarcasm has never been so sarcastic.  You needed to drink more water anyway, so just suck it up, grab your favorite glass and let the fun begin.  If eye rolling was an Olympic sport you would surely take home gold.

An hour later, cake consumed, water drank, and while your tummy is doing a happy dance the experience along with the picture you painted was distorted just a bit.  There is always next time.  Well, no time like the present to get dinner prepped and ready.  Tonight It’s going to be asparagus, salmon, and a really yummy balsamic glaze you have perfected.   In what felt like slow-motion you are standing there with the refrigerator door open and the look of sheer amazement plastered all over your face as the milk was sitting right next to the orange juice the entire time.

How in the world do you miss nearly a full gallon of milk, while wearing glasses!  It’s impossible not to laugh at yourself which you did for the remainder of the night.  With the day you had it's quite understandable but also serves as a reminder to slow down.  Maybe this was karmas way of letting you know the diet should have started today after all.  🤷🏽‍♀️

~AJ