The time is just past 6 a.m. As I scroll through the internet with one eye open while the other adjusts, my current obsession is finding the perfectly scented hand soap for my master bathroom. Why, because I'm a huge scent freak and googling weird things at odd hours is simply what I do. My mind never stops, the wheels in my brain turn faster than a hamster chasing his long-lost love on a never ending wheel of doom.
My days have been running together in no proper fashion for the past six months. A full on collision of mayhem and boxes. The two go together like popcorn and fried eggs. And yet there is someone somewhere eating that very weird combination as I type this. I've had quite the adventure with my new home and decided to summarize things in chronological order for my friends on Facebook. Today I will share my story here, with all of you to raise an eyebrow at me, call me crazy, laugh with me, or at me. At the end of my story, if for any reason you feel sorry for me, yes I will accept your generous donations. 😇
If moving was an Olympic sport I would without question take home gold. Packing an entire house, only to spend never-ending early mornings and late nights unpacking boxes, moving boxes from one location to the other in order to make room for the boxes I pushed into a back room just to unpack those boxes to move what's inside to the basement. Then there were the boxes stacked so high I couldn't tell if the raccoon family setup camp in preparation for the winter to plan their retaliation attack for what happened to their brethren. (Keep reading, I'll explain) The boxes marked 'FRAGILE' which indicate something is inside of sentimental value. Most likely a buddha, because I might have a slight obsession.
The excitement of a new home is amazing. It's a decorators dream to be able to take a blank canvas and do whatever you like. I'm having quite the time with it, however there are stories that must be shared here. Please pay close attention.
Below you will find Exhibit A which is the paw print of I would imagine a medium to large sized raccoon. About a week prior to seeing this print on my door I lost power. Called the power company and the guy came out and diddled in my back yard for about 20 minutes. He would later advise that there was a fried and crispy raccoon on the power lines but I never saw a little baggie carrying the air fried critter away. Is that not part of the Midwest service to take the dead animals to their final resting place? Apparently not. After seeing the paw print I realized the raccoons were looking for their family and assumed I had something to do with it. Me and the cats decided it was best to take shelter and keep close eye out for the large pawed beast. Happy to report no further sightings.
A home will show you everything there is to know if you just pay attention. I'm 1000% against co-existing with critters in close quarters. There were the Jumanji sized ants that seemed to move at warp speed, the hairiest centipede I have ever seen in my life which forced me to vacate my bathroom for approximately one week. My mom assured me it was gone, however, I saw no body, so I ain't buying it! Spiders, lots of spiders, oh and locusts. In my mind they are all just coming out to say hi, welcome to the neighborhood. The only thing is I do not want to talk!
There are several small updates you can make to a home to make it truly feel like yours. One of the items I knew I wanted to change were the vent covers. They were rusted and quite dated, so I decided to update to a nice bronze color that gave it a bit of a modern flair. Upon removing the older vent covers I saw full meal entrees and possibly snacks for later. I wasn't sure if the previous owners left them for me or some larger critter that I haven't met yet. Either way, it was cringe worthy and something I am still trying to erase from my memory.
After returning to a somewhat normal routine I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was without air for about 3 weeks. The days were crazy hot and the nights were sometimes worse, however it made for conversation and I eventually got used to it. For a moment it felt as it the stories and crazy moments would never end. I've had to laugh at it all, keep a smile on my face and keep it pushing.
I will continue hanging enough pictures to make it look like a museum and cozy enough to make you feel as though you've been here before. The pinkish bathroom is by far my fave, my niece has named the huge buddha in the hallway Venita. I don't ask why, I simply go with the flow and continue dancing at the beat of my own drum. The recent events should be enough of a reason to never move again, however, I'm somewhat of a gypsy and there is a feeling I get when I know it's time to move on that truly appeals to me in the weirdest way. I know I will do it again, where I will go I have no idea, but it feels good here, so I think I'll stay for a while.
"If we were meant to stay in one place, we'd have roots instead of feet." -Rachel Wolchin
AJ is a creative writer and storyteller writing from her home in Indiana.
"This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." -Neil Gaiman