The Thrill Is Gone

The year is flying by!  Although we are still enjoying what is left of the summer months, fall is quickly approaching.  If you blink twice it will all become a blur and your mind will begin to wonder why it all went by so fast.  Preparations have begun to return the children to school, either virtually or from the comforts of home, it's familiar normalcy that strangely enough feels fantastic.  It's what you know.  Also known as the 'same ole same'.  The day-to-day routines become so insanely repetitive you could easily do it all with your eyes closed while juggling a multitude of responsibilities.  Is that really a good thing?  Well, honestly, it depends on which day you ask that loaded question.

As comforting as your routine has become, there is something that doesn't feel quite right.  It's typically during the quiet times when you can sit back and exhale that you realize it has been far too long since you and your significant other have truly taken time to enjoy one another.  The morning meet-ups in the shower, the warm kisses before you both leave to start your day and the ever so gentle (or not) squeezes that make you bite your lip and prep for what is to come later.  The mid-day texts telling you how beautiful you looked even when you know your hair was a whole entire hot mess.  The sweet and sexy voice messages you left him while he was in a meeting.  Yeah, all of that and then some.  Where did it all go and how do you find it again?   Let's see if we can find out!

Movies have a way of making you feel as if your relationship should be thrown straight in the trash along with yesterday's garbage.  The portrayal of love is so divine and perfect that you end the movie with an attitude and the question of, 'why don't you do that for me?'  If the response is anything like, 'here we go with the bulls!@#' then you have been on this ride a time or two, or three, but who's counting?!  Feel free to insert laughter at any time.  The reality is, some relationships are a mirror image of what you see in the movies.  If you happen to cross paths with a conspiracy theorist by day and a lie detector by night they will surely tell you this type of 'thing' simply does not exist.   

In conversations with your best friend, you feel as though the thrill is gone and you have no idea how to find it, revive it, and get it back to the way it used to be.  Chasing unicorns and searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow is what fairytales are made of, but who is to say those things are not true.  

When distance enters and is allowed to remain in a relationship, your mind tends to forget the little things that are oh so necessary to keep the spark, excitement, and thrill alive.  Here are a few reminders to bring that long-departed spark back to life.  
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• Put down the remote and get back to date night.  If you can't do it once a week, make a promise to make it happen once month.
• Talk to one another the way you used to instead of talking to other people about your relationship.  Confide, share, and be honest with your partner.
• Call him for no reason.  It doesn't always have to be a honey to-do list.
• Drop the kids off with grandma, a relative, or hire a sitter and plan a staycation.  There are tons of fun things to do in your own city.  Oh, and pack that lace thing he likes, or nothing at all.  Hopefully, you got that hint.
• Skip the diet, open a bottle of wine, turn the music all the way up and cook your favorite foods together.  
• Put the kids to bed early and tell her to meet you in the basement.  
• Hold hands when you are out together, put the phones away, and be annoyingly corny the way you were when you first met.
• Get down and dirty, tell him/her what it is you like, how and where you want it, and to make sure they don't stop.  
• Last but not least, hit repeat until this is part of your new routine.

"When people who've been together for a long time say that the romance is gone?  What they're really saying is... they've exhausted the possibility." -Darius Lovehall 

~AJ