It was a Saturday afternoon and when I initially woke my plans were to find something amazing on Netflix to binge and simply relax. As I started cleaning I realized I had never hung a picture behind my headboard. If you knew how OCD I could be at times you would know that every single morning it bothered me that there was this empty space looking all naked and lonely. Trust that it wasn't from lack of searching, but the problem was I had never found the perfect picture to hang, so I decided to wait until I saw what I was looking for. Well, no time like the present to skip on over to my favorite accessory store and just take a peek. After all it's free to look and I probably won't find anything anyway. This is my internal way of attempting to convince myself that I did not need to go shopping, but who needs that type of negativity in their life??? Off I go!
Twenty minutes later, 4 candles, a box of tea, and one amazing picture in my shopping cart, I was smiling from ear to ear because I knew that I had found the perfect picture after all of this time. It's the little things right? So they say. I have stepped into the chapter of my life where things have to be balanced with purpose. Where is that gonna go? Don't I already own 5 of those? Will it fit in my car is truly the only question that requires an answer, because I will find a way to make it work even if I am doing a tiny bit of hoarding in the process.
Navigating through 2020 has proved to be quite the challenge. Not sure what to expect or what is going to happen next is what I was forced to figure out. Full of suspense and unwelcome surprises around every corner, this year was turning into a semi horror, action packed thriller with spurts of comedy. Only thing is, most of what has happened is far from funny. I have a mind that is all over the place at any given time, so I credit that with allowing me to keep some form of insane sanity. If you don't believe me, just know that as I write this I am thinking of a grilled cheese sandwich accompanied by a nice glass of $12 champagne. I am also wondering where my shipment is that I ordered 6 1/2 days ago, I mean shouldn't it be here by now?! I'll check the porch when I'm done because just maybe the delivery guy has a phobia with ringing doorbells? See! I digress in the worst way...now where was I?
Oh yeah, back to this oddball of a year.
I can't honestly say that I have always been this master of creativity, yet I found this year to be the most inspiring and eye-opening of them all. I learned to let go and allow myself the opportunity to grow more into the things and people that I love. Making things from scratch, doing my own hair, driving across the states to be with my family, writing my whole entire heart out and finding my way back to the power of prayer. I turned my living room into a dance floor and workout room, became one with nature and started walking in my neighborhood. I had concerns that because I was single I would go a bit bonkers and that depression would find me. You hear it so often and you never know if that will be you one day. I am thankful that I have the ability to make do with what I have and activate my peace from within. I have done a pretty good job of keeping myself in check with a few minor things. ⬇️
Maybe your list is a bit different and you find that you need much more in order to cope. That is perfectly fine, be honest with yourself and start with just one and work your way up to more and more, you will soon find that there are things you never knew you enjoyed so much. Trust me!
There are specific steps we take in life that prepare us for the unexpected. You don't know it at the time but that's when it hits you. You have this epiphany and realize it was never all in vain. In the midst of quarantine life, and what has quite honestly been the weirdest year of my life, I have learned so much and for that I am forever thankful. For quiet moments, second chances I never knew I needed. For visions that are as clear as the mirror image before me. For laughter, tears of joy and at times tears of remembrance. And most definitely for finding this amazing picture that gives me the daily affirmation I need. I am simply thankful for it all. 💫
AJ writes & blogs from her home in Kennesaw, GA with Max alongside as her muse. You can also find her work as a contributing writer at www.groovmagazine.com