I decided to join along in protecting my mental health today and especially every Friday! Holding my middle finger up high for any of the BS that we all might encounter from time to time! Take notes, this is major!
Fuck it Friday is in full effect with no apologies, so let's go!!!
As I take the time to sit here and write this post, it all feels different. I can't recall the moment it changed, but it did and I'm beyond thankful for that turning moment in my life.
I've been running on fumes all week. Early mornings and late nights. Busy with my 9-5 and busy with challenging and pushing myself to dig deep and really get into my favorite past-time. It's not that I have been slacking, it's quite the opposite. I make it a point to create something every month, without the pressure of feeling as if I need to beat someone else to the finish line. It's a personal and attainable goal that makes me happy as a writer and creator. At the end of the day that is what truly matters.
With a mind busier than the strongest working bee, I have been hitting the keyboard as if it was going to turn into a sea of mud at the stroke of midnight and my words would be forever lost. I love the late-night thoughts, the hustle, and the feeling of clicking publish on yet another story, another tale, another FYI on gardening to-do's and not's, and giving another accolade to someone who has inspired me or maybe even the world.
They said I changed a lot, I said a lot changed me ~Fuckology
When I made my mind up that I was going to do what felt good, I created my website. It was hard work, but it was simple, a tad generic, and all mine! I spent quite a bit of time researching apps and fonts and making it feel like a breath of fresh air. I know I have accomplished that, with a few minor tweaks here and there. I also put a huge chunk of time into asking others for support. A text here or there saying hey read my work. Or perhaps in the midst of a conversation throwing in a subtle or not so subtle reminder that I have a website, and I, and it are amazing.
As I said in my very first sentence, I can't recall the moment, but the purpose changed. I am no longer consumed with those texts, or conversations asking for a comment here and there. I am not embarrassed to allow my thoughts to flow freely, nor am I asking for permission to go for all that I know I deserve. Don't misunderstand, I will always share my work where it's appreciated and without a doubt I want my work to be adored. I have high hopes as I should. I know there are times when I have made someone's morning a little brighter or offered midday inspiration and perhaps a thoughtful gesture because of something I have written.
Evolving is a process that develops gradually and I thank God and this oh so amazing universe for walking with me along the way.
Moments worthy of celebration. Graduating from high school. Landing that seemingly perfect new job. An engagement of two souls in love. The birth of a new baby. Or perhaps, the purchase of your dream home. What are a few moments you recall that have gone down in history as the reason the party hats were pulled out of storage and the save the date announcements were sent?
If you took time to reflect, you would be surprised how long that list would be.
I'm a true fan of firsts. There is something about knowing this amazing feat has never been accomplished and it serves as a healthy reminder that just about anything is possible. I say just because there are limits, however, if you don't try and push yourself you will never know and realize the full potential that is within and just waiting to get out.
Time and energy are as important as peace and purpose. I vowed to stop watching the news about 7 years ago. It brought no joy into my life and it was full of much anguish and turmoil. Doing more harm than good to my mental state and something told me that needed to be protected. I begin to refocus my energy on more important topics, and before I knew it my outlook on life, in general, began to change.
It goes without saying if you had eyes and ears you couldn't help but notice the hearings of Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. In what would at times be a very heated exchange, it seemed unfair and unnecessary that her character was on trial in such a probing and unforgiving way. One of the questions asked, "How does one human being do so much, so extraordinarily well?" I wanted to put on my cape, jump in to protect her, and shield her character from the unknown, the doubters, the questions, and the evaluations. I don't have that power just yet, so I closed my eyes tight, and prayed, I hoped and I wished for history to enter the world yet again. This time in the form of a strong black woman with a message to bring and the background to back it all.
"This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." -Neil Gaiman